Hi, I'm Illegal

Blog Post dedicated to Miss Hailey Apter.

I have officially been in Honduras for three months. Actually, three months and one day. Not only is this my three-month anniversary with this crazy place, but also it is the date that my visa is expired. Today I am officially living illegally in this country.

In my blog I haven’t touched a ton on the frustration and inefficiency of this place where I am now living and teaching, however I know I have spoken to several of you about these minor and major problems. It’s really just one thing after another and isolated, these issues seem minor, but put ‘em all together and it they are a royal pain in my you know what.

Most recently, as you can guess, my passport visa has not been renewed. The school takes in foreign teachers every single year. You would think by now that they have got the whole “let’s not make our teachers be illegal aliens” thing down. Guess not. They had three months to extend our visas and we started reminded them a month ago. We realized our illegal status on Sunday night and gave Miss Triny a call. She said “Oh yeah. Bring your passports on Monday.” Oh okay. Were you EVER going to call us/tell us/get your act together? So now it looks like we are going to have to go to San Pedro Sula on Friday and miss school. Bummer.

The communication issues are probably the biggest problem I have. I have said it before and I will say it again, this is QUITE the test for an Organizational Studies major. Said simply, their communication sucks. Here are some recent examples…

A few weeks ago there was a teachers meeting after school of which we knew about a week beforehand. The day of, the last period, Miss Julie came to my classroom and said that Abby and I didn’t have to attend the meeting. Being told last minute- typical, but I can handle it. Why didn’t we have to attend the meeting? Apparently because the meeting was going to be about telling the other teachers what they are doing wrong, and we’re doing everything right. Oohhh okay. There are a few things wrong with this equation. Firstly, the idea that we do everything right is absolutely false. However, they will never tell us this because they a) do not like confrontation and b) do not want to “upset” the American teachers. We are treated much different than the other teachers, and it is totally and completely accepted. The idea that everyone should be treated equally is just not there. We’re American, so we deserve to be above the rules a bit. Miss Diana has her master’s degree so she can do whatever she wants. Just how it is- blatant and accepted. The second thing wrong with this is- wait a minute- what if we had a problem that we wanted to bring up at the meeting? What if we had something to say? This would never occur to the administration because they don’t understand the term “collaboration.” The school is an extremely disorganized dictatorship. Naturally Abby and I are the American revolutionaries, making it a point to not really care what the administration says, especially when things are completely unjustified. The Honduran teachers on the other hand; it is ridiculous how focused they are on the rules and bending these rules totally does not cross their mind. They may not teach, they may just have their students read out of the book day in and day out, not make lessons creative, require ridiculous homework from their students, but by God they will give tests exactly every two weeks, report every failing grade, and never drink coffee in the classroom.

Because Mr. Bob’s daughter, Anna, is at HEM School, we have a bit of spy from whom we can get the teacher chisma (gossip). One teacher, not coincidentally Miss Julie’s (in charge of all the teachers) brother, literally does not teach. He is a social studies teacher who probably couldn’t tell you anything about social or studies, not to mention past wars, geography, world leaders…you catch my drift. Apparently he assigns work in the book half of the time and the rest of the time he gives the kids free period and tells them to “keep it down so no one finds out.” Teaching at its finest! So he doesn’t teach, but has ridiculous expectations. Anna turned in homework on a lined piece of paper. Seems fine, right? Not so fast! He made her redo the homework, on a blank piece of white paper, making her draw an exactly one-inch border around the edge. WHY? WHAT IS THE POINT??? It is so clear that with some of these teachers, the focus is NOT on learning, rather presentation and memorization. No wonder they like the American teachers the most. It’s not that we’re amazing teachers…we actually give a care that they enjoy class, learn, have variation, and have fun. What a concept.

So I just went off on a major tangent there. Back to that meeting from which we were dis-invited. The next day we asked Claudia what we missed. A few things here and there and then she mentioned that we had to plan something for Thanksgiving. We, being the American teachers, aka me, Abby, and Bob. Additionally, my students were telling me something about something called Kermés that we had to plan. Huh? What is Kermés? When is Kermés? I’m confused. Well, we figured that they would tell us at some point what this might include. One week passes. Nothing. Another week passes. Nothing. Apparently there is something called Kermés happening on Saturday and there is a two-hour block put aside for something on Thanksgiving Day. And, in true H.E.M School fashion, we have absolutely no direction from anyone on what we are supposed to do. If it weren’t for Claudia casually saying something, we would have been completely in the dark about these festivities and our apparent role in planning them. (You may also be wondering- why the heck are they celebrating Thanksgiving in Honduras? My answer? I have no clue. Pilgrims? Native Americans? Plymouth Rock? May Flower? Turkey, Pumpkin Pie, Cranberry Sauce? It all just screams Honduras!)

After our next teacher meeting we brought this up with Miss Triny, Miss Gloria, and Miss Julie. It was a little nerve racking, but we’re a pair of mavericks, so it’s fine. What are they going to do? Fire us? No. Anytime I am thinking about bending the rules or doing something out of the ordinary (like using the library with my class- GASP! Going into the computer lab with my class! The Horror!) I always think- well, they aren’t going to fire me, and they can’t stand confrontation, so- might as well! This confrontation went fairly as expected. Miss Gloria, being the tyrant that she is…well…let me just give you a play by play of the conversation…

Us: We just wanted to bring up the communication issue to you all. We haven’t been told about very much at all from the administration. We only heard about Kermés from our students, had no idea what really was going on, and if it weren’t for Claudia, we would still be in the dark about Thanksgiving. We just wanted to bring this to your attention…

Miss Gloria: Yes. Yes. Certainly. You should know these things.

Miss Julie: (nods her head, says nothing)

Miss Triny: Yes. Well. What about the last meeting?

Us: We were told not to go.

Miss Gloria: Yes. Yes. They were not here.

Us: Yeah, Miss Julie told us not to go.

Miss Triny: oh. Yes. Yes.

Miss Gloria: You know, this is ALL Julie’s responsibility. She is in charge of the teachers and she should be doing her job better. As far as I know, you are being told these things. This is Julie’s responsibility.

Miss Julie: (stands there. Silent. Aawwwkkkwwarrrd)

Miss Gloria: I mean, I don’t want to wash my hands of this, but I mean, this is her responsibility. She should have told you.

It basically went on like this. We finally did get a “We’re sorry” from them and expressed our need to be informed. We'll see if anything ACTUALLY changes. 100 Lempira says no. Our friend, Chris, did a great impression of Miss Gloria after we shared this story with him. “I don’t want to wash my hands of this…but you better believe I’m going to…! And look at Julie’s hands…they are just filthy! Dirty dirty hands Miss Julie! Dirt, all over her hands- filthy!” It was funnier in person with his facial expressions and English accent, but you get the point.

Anyway, I could continue on and on and on about their communication skills, or lack there of, but it’s pretty exhausting to write, recollect, and read, I’m sure. The moral of this story is that adapting to a new culture is not all fun and games, lollipops and gumdrops. It is EXTREMELY frustrating because it just DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! My friend Kate who is doing the Peace Corps in Tanzania put it perfectly, “Nothing is normal here. Everything has to be ridiculous.” It’s so true. It’s like they are purposefully not making sense and doing things inefficiently.

About a month ago we volunteered for the relief effort after some nearby towns were hit really badly with flooding. Our job was to create care packages of food and clothing. Cid, Abby, and I started an assembly line at our clothes corner. As we all learned in U.S. History, we got some much more done in half the time. The other Hondurans could not get it! They just continued to do everything themselves, even when we were like “Here, why don’t you get in our line and it’ll go quicker!” They just looked at us, smiled, and kept doing what they were doing. It all goes back to the “time is money” efficient attitude of Americans, an attitude that I really cannot seem to get rid of, and honestly, don’t really want to let go.

There is good news however. Today does not just mark my 3 month anniversary and my visa being expired…it is officially and exactly one month until Christmas!!!!!! A few days ago a friend sent me some very much needed Bing Crosby Christmas music. I must say, even though I am in Honduras, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas here as well. Christmas trees in houses, ribbons on light posts, ornaments and garland being sold in the stores. Time may not be money here, but no matter where you are, Christmas is Christmas…and this, my dear readers, will never fail to make my spirits bright.